Silence, To Honor

Yarn Work

Since committing to making an altar cloth, I temporarily set aside the lace project to hone my basic crochet skills. I have been doing plenty of yarn work the past few weeks that will all be donated to the refugee center in Boise: soft, warm afghans (for children) and extra thick pot holders (to accompany kitchen cooking sets). I also crafted a chunky cowl scarf for my oldest daughter.

The angle and speed with which I stitch does not seem to compromise fine motor ability, so maneuvering the hook has been therapeutic for my "silly" hands. Ultimately, my crochet time has been a super fun venture, boosting my skill ego while bringing me one step closer to a finished altar cloth.

Body Tremors

Last night will be pegged as one of the worst episodes in the history of my body tremors.

It was a slow, but steady pace of being on my feet all day long: the usual morning shower, a journey to the library, grocery shopping, play time with my kindergartener, light house cleaning, a special Family Home Evening where the missionaries came over and helped grill up some delicious grub and then we played a couple rounds of Kinect Sports bowling. The day drew to a close with some Level 1 Easy reading. As I helped my kinderboy find sight words on each page, my own sight fled. My left eye went blank. Scary! I automatically cleaned my glasses, hoping it was just a dirty lens. It was not. Fortunately, the black-out was brief, and sight restored.

After prayers and good-night squishies, I cozied on my own bed with a big sigh of relief. Immediately, the adventures of the day took their toll in the form of uncontrollable shivers, shakes, tremors, and twitches from head to toe, for near an eternity. I finally stumbled to the couch and cued some old Seinfeld episodes to occupy my mind. At one point during the tremors, I could only yawn to keep my breathing consistent. I feared I would pass out otherwise.

Eventually, I awoke. Not sure if I actually did pass out or if the body tremors wore me to complete exhaustion. Needless to say, I am feeling like an antiquated neurological scribble again today.

Spinal Tap

Here I am, just chilling in my bed, waiting for the spinal tap-induced headache to dissipate (think I'll watch "This is Spinal Tap" to continue with the day's theme...ha~ha!). The doctor instructed, "lay flat and give it a couple hours; no activity today." Wise advice. Any upright movement immediately increases pressure on my brain and invites an intense pain I have not experienced in three decades.

The last lumbar puncture I had was in conjunction with a myelogram, and both were performed with highly archaic flair. I swore I'd never do it again. But advances in technology made this go-around more comfortable. I was even able to crack a few jokes during the procedure. And through the course of conversation with medical staff, I now have "Wayne's World! Wayne's World!" tapping my brain.

I'm not sure which pain in the brain is more unbearable...

My MS Odyssey

I survived another wild launch into a 3T MRI machine, only to return in T minus two hours (and some loose minutes).

Tight spaces, such as that of a tubular MRI machine, are usually no bother to me. But when a bulky face mask is required as part of the apparatus for stabilization during testing in that confined space, my heartbeat skyrockets at a rapid pace. No amount of consolation to myself--taking deep, oxygenated breaths or calmly reminding myself that I AM a super hero--stops panic from over-riding relaxation within the initial five minutes. Hence, it has become prudent for the neurologist to prescribe a generous dose of Xanax to sustain me during the 2-hour imaging procedure.

This week was no different. The little blue pill temporarily became my best friend, my saving grace, as I prepared to enter the cold, loud imaging shuttle.

Fortunately, I had friendly technicians who successfully inserted my IV on first attempt, surrounded my ears with familiar sounds of classic 80's rock, secured my arms against the machine walls with cozy padding, and covered my body in a toasty warm blankie. The only thing missing was a pink binky.

Somewhere around the midway point I briefly dozed off, startled myself with a quick jolt, then apologized for the unnecessary snort. I was assured it did nothing to hinder the images, thankfully. Once ejected from the dark abyss, back into reality, my stomach demanded a Smashburger combo, which I nearly inhaled from starvation.

Later, the neurologist and I reviewed my updated MRI report. Although my spinal cord looks good, more "spots" exposed themselves on my brain: a couple of them appear consistent with severe migraine, while yet another is of major concern to Multiple Sclerosis.

Progression in time and space warrant the scheduling of another spinal tap, a procedure which, the first time, bruised my entire lumbar spine and twisted my dreams into nightmares. I am somewhat hesitant to do it again (especially since I have to refrain from taking any pain relievers), but understand the necessity for it.

As with all things, I will embrace the obstacles life encounters and enjoy the ride along my own personal MS odyssey...

My Life According to Def Leppard

Def Leppard is my all-time favorite band. Ever. But, somehow our paths never managed to cross, so I have waited over three decades to see a live performance. Still, I continued as a loyal fan, hopeful that one day we would meet. A while back, I posted a fun note on Facebook about My Life According to Def Leppard. I share here:

1. Are you male or female?
"21st Century Sha La La La Girl"

2. Describe yourself:
"Two Steps Behind"

3. How do you feel?
"Excitable"

4. Describe where you currently live:
"Hello America"

5. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
"Back in Your Face"

6. Your favorite form of transportation:
"Rocket"

7. Your best friend:
"Miss You in a Heartbeat"

8. Your favorite color is:
"White Lightning"

9. What's the weather like?
"High 'N' Dry"

10.  Favorite time of day:
"Only After Dark"

11. If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?
"Hysteria"

12. What is life to you?
"Unbelievable"

13. Your current relationship:
"Love and Affection"

14. Looking for:
"Truth?"

15. Wouldn't mind:
"All I Want is Everything"

16. Your fear:
"Billy's Got a Gun"

17. What is the best advice you have to give?
"Stand Up (Kick Love into Motion)

18. If you could change your name, you would change it to:
"Lady Strange"

19. Thought for the day:
"Rock, Rock ('Til You Drop)

20. How I would like to die:
"Turn to Dust"

21. My motto:
"Action! Not Words"

The answers remain the same, but one question still begs: Do you wanna get ROCKED...?!?
"Yeah!"

And I FINALLY did!!!

Thank you, Def Leppard, for performing an AMAZING concert (opened first by Tesla, then REO Speedwagon)!  The repercussions of immobility, nerve twitching, and full-body muscle throbbing today were worth EVERY moment I shared dancing and singing with you at Taco Bell Arena in Boise on Wednesday night!

Consider my Bucket List checked.

One Stitch at a Time

Sister Rose, an elderly lady I visit teach, recently inspired me with an altar cloth she hand-made for the Boise Temple. It was a cloth crocheted of delicate lace and fine workmanship. Her skill impulsively motivated me to challenge myself.

Years ago, while casted from knee to toes after reconstructive foot surgery, I was taught to crochet afghans with yarn to stave boredom of being confined to a velvet-upholstered recliner. I learned a few basic stitches and have since made several blankets from simple patterns, but never have I attempted anything as beautiful as the cloth Sister Rose created. As we sat in her living room, admiring the details of her masterpiece and discussing the Meridian Temple opening next year, I boldly exclaimed, "I want to make one!"

Wait. What did I say...?!? With excited conviction, I brought home a white skein of fine 20 thread--a weight I have never used before--and determined to make a sacred cloth for the House of the Lord.

Seriously. What was I thinking...?!?

I have humbly come to realize my crochet skills went unnoticed for too long and are extremely subpar. But, I also remember my patriarchal blessing mentions my hands being blessed; that they will do what they are told to do. This is especially interesting, considering my dwindling fine motor abilities due to Multiple Sclerosis. The Lord's promises are sure, and with Him all things are possible. He blessed me with a basic knowledge of the crochet realm, and I know through my consistent effort (armed with various sizes of steel needles, some You Tube instruction, and extreme patience), the Lord will bless my hands to sustain their ability.

For a righteous purpose, I practiced a beginning granny square. Now I am tackling my "forward chain-pull apart-forward chain" process of the unfamiliar and intricate lace pattern, taking it one stitch at a time...so, in time, I will be able to exclaim, "I made one!"